I've Been Thinking About Forgiveness

It really is unfortunate. Every time I hear the word "forgiveness", I think of Don Henley. You know the song, you cannot deny the facts. "I'm trying to get back to the heart of the matter/but my flesh gets weak/and my thoughts seem to scatter/but I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness/even if even if you don't love me anymore". So now you feel my pain, and for that, you are welcome. Also, now you are thanking me for a month free of new posts. For that you are also welcome.

It is unfortunate that I think of this song when the word comes up because this word is at the heart of the gospel. Jesus loved to talk about forgiveness, right? In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus told us, "If you are at the altar and you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your sacrifice and go be reconciled with your brother." Does this sound like a theoretical principle or a command to you?

The reason I ask the question is that I think we interpret clear commands of Jesus, especially like this one, in a theoretical, abstract way. Yes, in principle it is great to go ahead and seek forgiveness from people. We may not even argue with Jesus when he tells Peter that he should forgive his brother not 7 times but 7 times 70 times! We may be in the background with the other disciples snickering at Peter. What a dope! Forgive only 7 times, what a dumb question! Boy, am I glad I waited till Peter asked that!

But when we read commands like this they roll off our back like water off a duck, or am I alone?

In theory, in principle, in abstraction, as an idea or concept, we have no real problem with forgiveness. It kind of makes us feel Bob Marley-esque. We can now, with a clear conscience, sing along, "Let's get together and feel alright."

Like so many things in life, though, forgiveness only means something as we do it. We do not know what it is to forgive until we actually have the opportunity to forgive.

It is like last night at the restaurant. I was the "closer", which on these slow nights means that you are the guy twiddling your thumbs for the last two hours of business. Well, like the Bob Marley admirer and freedom-fighter I am, I went ahead and let all my support staff leave about and hour and a half early. John Lennon himself may have even been proud.

As anyone can guess, that would be the time I had four tables walk in in succession. I was in good shape, close to the end of my rope but still hanging on, as it were. Then it happened. Three of my tables needed drinks at the time and Amy, our bartender had already mentally clocked out for the night. I started to get uptight but kept my cool for a while.

When she realized my increasingly tense demeanor, she stepped it up and helped me out for the moment. When I realized a couple minutes later that I had ordered one of the drinks wrong, I needed her help again. Again, she was too distracted to help me out.

This time, I circumvented her help and made the drink myself, walking right past Amy on the way to help myself. She could tell that I was frustrated and that she had helped to increase my frustration. It was not the end of the world but I won't lie, it did make me angry. She is one of the best at helping me out when I need it and here she was, leaving me high and dry.

Later on something happened. Amy came to me and said she was sorry. She realized she had not done her job and made mine harder and she had no excuses. The ball was in my court. The choice was simple. Do I extend forgiveness or do I ignore Jesus?

Now, I know myself well enough to know I cannot forgive even the most minor of infractions without the direct help of God, so when I say I extended forgiveness, it is not a reflection on me but on Christ.

Forgiveness became more than a concept, it was a reality. It was more than an idea, it was something that took root in the world. That is what forgiveness does, it places both feet in reality, owns up to wrongs done, hurts caused, and decides, through the help of God, to obey the command of forgiveness.

And when Amy and I see each other tonight, we will be on good terms- not faking peace, but having our friendship strengthened by obeying the command of Christ together.

Admittedly, this is a light and surface example of forgiveness. One more question, though. At what point will it be a good thing to ignore Jesus' words? When a friend betrays us? When a lover leaves us? When a boss fires us? When a father mistreats us?

Now these are hard words, right? But are they any less true?