The 'Me Monster'

      So I was watching one of my favorite comedians, Brian Regan, the other day. His shtick on self-importance is absolutely hilarious. I think we've all seen the guy who is an aficionado on all things under the sun (sorry, also including the sun and beyond the sun). You have to love somebody who thinks they are special and unique. 

      There are two types of aficionados in my understanding. The first is that prototypical 'Me Monster' that Regan characterizes. This guy is more than willing to tell you about his opinion (which hardly seems like an opinion, more like a judgement) on any matter that should come your way. A friend of mine is like this. I was telling a story to he and some other friends about how I was so excited about lifting 225 pounds (back in the day). He cuts me off to inform us that he used to lift 450 pounds when he was in his prime. Yeah, I think we all know this guy. 

       The second type of aficionado is the guy I had at one of my tables last night. I offer to all my tables that I would be more than willing to suggest a glass of wine or to simply retrieve what they request. Well, he looks at me and informs me that he is quite capable of ordering his own wine, thanks very much. O.K...pretty sure that's why I also told you that I would be willing to retrieve what you pick out for yourself. 

       As the evening progressed, I could tell that every time I went by the table he was annoyed by my very presence (except, oddly enough, when I brought out their main course). When his date ordered the only glass of Cab we have on the list, we were graced by his approval of what she ordered. Great. Fantastic. Thanks for agreeing. Did you not hear me when I just informed her that this was the only Cab on the list? But, as always, your opinion is the only one out of three that has any validity.

       This silent self-important person reminded me a lot of the way I function on a day to day basis. Sure, I may keep my opinion to myself and not drivel on and on (except on this blog), but that does not mean that I am free of all my self-importance. I have to constantly combat the urge to make judgements about others. I have to keep on my guard against sizing people up and placing them,  in level of importance, below my lofty, albeit silent, aficionado status. 

       Unlike the prototypical 'Me Monster', who is relatively easy to size up and handle (agree with what they are saying and look for the escape hatch), we silent self-important aficionados cannot be appeased without finding fault in others. 

       I'm so glad that Jesus loves the prototypical and silent aficionados equally. When I am thinking about what incredible patience and forgiveness he constantly exercises with me, it is much easier to put up with any aficionado, even myself. 

       I got to exercise some patience with my silent self-important aficionado last night: predictably enough, he was a lame tipper!